Nov. 17, 2022

3. A Tale of Two Mothers

3. A Tale of Two Mothers

If you need a lift, listen to the story of David Figueroa.   He was born with cerebral palsy in Puerto Rico with very little chance of creating a fulfilling life for himself.  Take a look where he is now, and how the love of two mothers helped to get him there.  Inspirational.


This podcast is also available as an extended version
youtube.com/@battingthebreeze/extended

Contact me:
steve@battingthebreeze.com

Contact David, he would love to hear from you.
David Figueroa

Other Links:
My Brother's Keeper Alliance

AUDIOCLIP FROM A TALE OF TWO MOTHERS
My Stepmother Saved My Life

Last week's episode

[Episode 2] A Child's Eye View of World War II - On the 3rd September 1939, Neville Chamberlain broadcast the news that Britain was at war with Germany.  Accounts of war time have been well documented, but what was it like for the children living under the constant threat of German bombers? Enid Bottle was five years old on that day.  Now eighty-eight years old and living in the South of England, she recalls vivid memories as if they were yesterday.  

Next Week's episode

[Episode 4] Misfit in Hell to Heaven Expat - Have you ever had that experience where life was ticking over quite nicely, and everything felt normal? And then something happened, and suddenly life wasn't normal anymore. What about if that something was that you died?

Contact Batting the Breeze:
- Email us at steve@battingthebreeze.com
- Chat with us on Facebook

 

Transcript

David:

It's a blessing that I have these scars because these scars tell a story of triumph, of perseverance and overcoming obstacles.

steve:

Puerto Rico, a group of Caribbean islands about a thousand miles southeast of Miami, Florida. Today, it's a tourist paradise with amazing beaches, multicultural cuisine and is the world's leading producer of rum. But, back in the nineties, the island was known for its unemployment, high rates of poverty, social inequality, and the birth of one David Figureoa.

David:

I lived in a small town called Cidra. But I was born in a town called Caguas, which is about ten, fifteen minutes away from where I was living. Down the street, you could see like a very big river. So you can go in the river and go in the water and don't have to worry about any, like sharks or anything like that. And it was so much fun.

steve:

So far, so good. However, there was one complication. David was born with cerebral palsy, a group of disorders that primarily affect movement; 'cerebral' meaning 'to do with the brain', and 'palsy' meaning 'paralysis'. Puerto Rico wasn't necessarily the best place for a child with cerebral palsy.

David:

When I was a child, I used to go to school there. However the school system there wasn't built for inclusion and accessibility for children like myself who have physical disabilities. I mean, Even though I was, did very well in my classes, I had teachers that would still question my intellect, how intelligent I was. And they would be very discriminate, "I don't want him around peers that look normal, able-bodied because he's different".

steve:

So although growing up was tough, david had his mother and father to support him. But this situation didn't last, and David's parents eventually separated.

David:

They went, I wouldn't say their separate ways, but they had different ideas in life. They still remained really good friends.

steve:

Things immediately looked different for David. He now had two homes and new stepparents in his life.

David:

The summers would be with my father up in Puerto Rico. During the school year, I'd be with my mom, and then I would have stepdads I had about maybe four. They were all awful. Terrible human beings. They weren't very nice towards my mom. I remember seeing abuse early on from my stepdads to, to her. And then, it would translate to us. It was awful. Sometimes you don't have that support system you can turn to, so you have to turn to other methods. My mom's methods unfortunately were, you know, were pills. She was in a lot of pain. So that's was her way of coping.

steve:

So the die had seemingly been cast for David's life: a loving mother, too young to cope, too sick to help: a succession of disinterested and abusive stepfathers. But out of the despair, there was hope, and it came in the form of David's stepmother.

David:

Up until the age of eight I used to walk on my knees and that was the only way I would get around, I just dragged myself across the floor. During that time it was just my stepmom training me, teaching me how to do basic things; eating, clothing myself, going to the restroom.

steve:

David's stepmother was there to help David's mother, help David.

David:

She would be her guide in a sense. So she would remind her, "Hey David needs to go to therapy "He needs to go to school". Because at the time my biological mom was a teen mom. And luckily as the years progressed, my stepmom came in and she would help guide her to therapy, make sure I'd go to get my surgeries.

steve:

At the age of eight, David's mother died, and this meant an opportunity to move in with his father and stepmother. But for David's stepmother, she was also young. She also had her life ahead of. Taking direct responsibility for David would undoubtedly change her life too, so she had to make a decision.

David:

My stepmom had to make a choice, "Am I going to sacrifice the rest of my youth and take care of a child who has cerebral palsy, who I believe has potential to have a great life? So she chose to take care of me. It was a yes all the way. She wanted to take care of me and provide for me for the life that I would never have. She has a big heart. I credit her for literally saving my life. And without her and my father, who knows what I would've been today.

steve:

Once his stepmother had made the decision to stay with his father and raise David together, she quickly took control.

David:

Right around the time the teacher had said I was slow and they didn't want me in my classroom was when my stepmom decided, "You know what? I don't want my son to be experiencing discrimination, to be treated like he's not a human being because he has a disability". So she went up to the director. She asked for my file. So, she took my file and she looked at the director in the eyes and she shredded the file in front of her and she said, "We're moving to Florida. We're done here". So we left.

steve:

And so David's family upped sticks and moved to Florida. But Puerto Rico wasn't the only thing David left behind at that point.

David:

I left my chair three months after the age of eight. Three months after my mother's death, I took my first steps inside a Footlocker because I was getting shoes and socks. And I remember this vividly. I remember getting up out of the chair, and then I took maybe two or three steps, and I fell. She was looking for me for, I think, thinking, that's something that happened to me. And then she realized, "Oh, wait a minute! He walked from his chair to three feet away from it". I took my first steps and that was pretty incredible considering that I went through so much and doctors had said that I would never be able to walk, and I accomplished that.

steve:

When David refers to going through so much, he wasn't just referring to the challenges of school and public attitudes. There was quite a bit of surgery to endure along the way too.

David:

I see those surgeries as scars that represent a journey. And when people asked me about the scars, I'm not ashamed of them. I will show them like I've showed people and they think it's a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. It's, great. It's a blessing that I have these scars because these scars tell a story of triumph, of perseverance and overcoming obstacles.

steve:

The surgeries had improved life and so had Florida.

David:

I got the help I needed. I felt welcomed, I felt appreciated, accepted by my peers. Of course you would face adversity anywhere you would go, but it was as easy as letting my classmates know on the first day of school, "Hey, I have cerebral palsy. This is what makes me different. But it makes me unique as an individual".

steve:

David progressed through elementary, middle, and high school. He had some wonderful experiences, meeting friends, being social, and just enjoying life. By the time he reached university, he was beyond just surviving.

David:

Now it's time to establish an identity. I got my degree in sociology and then I decided to pursue education. So I began as an assistant teacher, a reading teacher, and I found a passion for helping children and making a difference in their lives and being an advocate.

steve:

Although only in his early thirties, David feels a deep sense of responsibility to help others. Amongst other things, he's an advocate for middle school students. David has also become involved in the organization My Brother's Keeper.

David:

It's a, I would say, non-profit organization, started back in 2008 by former President Barack Obama, to help combat minority children in our local communities, you know, escape that tough route of, hopelessness or poverty or just daily struggles in life.

steve:

David's is the story of the love of two mothers. The irony isn't lost on him, that the death of his birth mother, despite all her love for him, actually enabled him to have his own life.

David:

Honestly, If I didn't move with my stepmother, this life now would've never existed. I wouldn't be sharing my story here. I mean, I wouldn't be living a life right now.

steve:

And what would you say to your mother, your birth mother, if you could talk to her now?

David:

Thank you. Despite her giving all her love for me, she made the ultimate sacrifice and she said, "I'm gonna go, leave this earth so that you'll have a life and that you can pass on, you can create a legacy. I'm forever indebted to her.

steve:

David Figueroa is living proof that regardless of the hand we are dealt with in life, with a little bit of help, and hope, anything is possible.

David:

Cerebral palsy is a label that society gives you. However, don't let that label define who you are, but let what you do with that disability define you.